While most people in relationships still find their partners attractive, they are not in a healthy relationship. These rose-tainted glasses have led to many people staying in the unhealthy relationship. Here are signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship, and hindering yourself from finding what you truly deserve.
The control with kindness is probably the best place to start as this is one of the most indirect signs that your relationship is unhealthy. Partners that root out your weaknesses and use them to control, you are as bad as the ones that use fear and violence. A great partner, regardless of whether they are the source of your happiness, will ensure that you have it and are better without manipulating you. The next one is the emotional blame where they claim that you are making a big deal over small matters, claim that you are exaggerating things and also too sensitive. These are the kind of people that stonewall you whenever you attempt to discuss any problem, and never empathize with the emotions that you have.
The other red flag that you should watch out for is when they are clingy and therefore need coddling, because this is actually not loved but more of a mean to manipulate you. They will, for instance, make you feel guilty about spending time with other people which in turn makes you too isolated and depend on their company.
There are also the ones that use the unspoken standards to control you and create some power struggle. You have to remember that you are not a project and should never let anyone tear you down, which means that the ones that try to change you do not also deserve you. Bad past relationships are usually also a sign that they cannot have an unhealthy relationship. There are partners that instead of supporting your goals, they are so hell-bent on sabotaging your success so that you can depend on them.
Another red flag is when they are almost always angry. While the small fights and arguments may seem petty now, they can damage or strain relations and you should be able to talk and solve them as adults. Emotional manipulations are bad, and this is where they try to make you stay because they need you not want you. Balance of power and trust are two main pillars of a healthy relationship. If your relationship has one or more of these signs, it means that you are not in the right relationship and if this cannot be changed then you should look for better.